First we had each other, then we had you, and then we had everything!

Today I had my first ultrasound! Leading up to this morning, I was excited, anxious and down-right scared in equal measure. I couldn’t wait to hear the heartbeat for the first time and I was in desperate need of reassurance that the baby was okay and developing just like it should be. Tony, my Mom, and my Dad all accompanied me to the Dr.’s office and after almost an hour wait, they finally called my name and Tony and I were ushered into the ultrasound room. First, Dr. Bailey lit into me about how important it is to get my diabetes under control (like I didn’t already know that!) and asked Tony if I was lying about my eating habits or if I really was being a good girl and eating like I should be. Tony, being the wonderful hubby that he is, told Dr. Bailey I was doing a good job and conveniently forgot to mention the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup filled brownie I had eaten on Saturday that had sent my blood sugar through the roof (Tony threw them out!). Dr. Bailey then pulled out the little Doppler machine that detects the baby’s heartbeat. He explained to us before he began that at 11 weeks, there is a 20 to 30 percent chance that we won’t be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat with the Doppler. But I was so excited about the prospect of hearing the little boom, boom, boom coming from inside me that I was only half listening to his explanation. If I would have been giving the doctor my full attention, maybe I wouldn’t have been so distressed when I didn’t hear anything when he put the cold wand to my belly. For weeks now, all I could seem to think about was how much better I was going to feel when I heard that wonderful sound of a little beating heart. So you can imagine how freaked out I was when I didn’t hear anything. Nada, zilch, zippo, not even the slightest gurgle. Dr. Bailey tried to reassure me that it was nothing to worry about, but I wasn’t having any of it. Just as I was imagining the worst, Dr. Bailey started to perform the ultrasound. I immediately saw the perfect outline of a little tiny human, complete with little arms and legs flailing around everywhere. Tony couldn’t believe that the baby was moving around so much already. He also couldn’t believe that I can’t feel it moving around inside of me yet. That’s when Dr. Bailey explained to us that the baby is only an inch and a half long and far too small to feel yet, but with all that activity, he’s sure that the baby is destined to be a fantastic athlete!

With our eyes glued to the grainy screen, Tony and I got our first glimpse of the life that we created together. I can’t even begin to explain what it felt like to see that tiny little human being moving around inside me. It suddenly makes everything very real. No more abstract thoughts about baby. Everything is finally concrete. I am a mommy. There is a life growing inside of me that was created by the love that Tony and I have for each other. I am so thankful to God for giving us this wonderful gift and I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that I know everything is okay. My first reaction to seeing the ultrasound was pretty much exactly the same as my reaction to the positive pregnancy tests: lots of happy crying followed by giggling. It was funny to watch the screen every time that I laughed because the baby would disappear for second until I stopped giggling, like my laughter was squishing the little guy or something. So now every time that I laugh, I immediately feel guilty for squishing the baby. No more Adam Sandler movies for me until after the baby is born!

Dr. Bailey also told me that with women who have type 2 diabetes, there is an increased risk of still birth during the last two weeks of pregnancy. For that reason, he is going to induce my labor on Wednesday, August 19th, exactly 2 weeks before my due date. Let the countdown begin! Only 6 months and 4 days until we get to meet our baby! Roberta Flack sang a song called, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” that begins: The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes. I can’t seem to get that song out of my head today. I am already incomprehensibly in love with you baby and I haven’t even met you yet.