First we had each other, then we had you, and then we had everything!

Well things just keep getting more and more interesting here in preggo land! I have been going to weekly doctor appointments (most women are just seen monthly at his point) so that they can keep a close eye on my blood pressure (which has been elevated since day one) and after upping the dosage on both my blood pressure medication and my thyroid medication, things still aren’t satisfactory with all the people in the little white coats. I am terrified that I’m going to develop preeclampsia (pregnancy induced hypertension normally accompanied by excess fluid retention). And I’m sure all the worrying is having a wonderful effect on my already too-high blood pressure. With everything going on in my high-risk pregnancy, it would be very easy for me to fall into a rut of feeling sorry for myself. It would be easy for me to sit around asking God why all these things have to be happening to me and my baby, but as a Christian I have faith that everything happens for a reason and it’s all a part of God’s great plan.

Although I can’t be certain that I’m right, I do have a couple of theories as to why my pregnancy has been so difficult. Theory #1: God is trying to control the population through my health problems, as I am probably not going to try for baby number two after all the hurdles I’ve have to jump this time around. Or, Theory #2 (my personal favorite): All of the trouble I’m going through to bring this baby into the world is going to make for a wonderful guilt trip I can put on the kid when they’re about 16 years old and they’re driving me crazy either because they want to do something and I won’t let them or because I want them to do something and they won’t. I can just hear the words coming out of my mouth now: “Do you have any idea what I went through to bring you into this world?!? The least you could do is show some respect to your poor, selfless mother who sacrificed so much to get you here!” Oh yeah, all this could really come in handy later!

For three weeks now, I’ve been waiting on the energy burst that everyone keeps telling me to expect now that I’m in my 2nd trimester. I’m beginning to think that they are all full of crap. I just seem to be getting increasingly tired as the days pass. I don’t have the energy to clean my house, cook a decent meal, get out of bed in the morning…wait a minute, I didn’t have the energy to do those things before I got pregnant! But seriously, just as I was beginning to think that I’d been lied to by all the mommies that I’ve talked to, I got a phone call from my doctor’s nurse today telling me that my thyroid levels are low and that my medication needs to be adjusted (I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism-under active thyroid-in 2001). Often times, just like with my diabetes, pregnancy can affect how your body responds and reacts to different medical conditions. So hopefully after they adjust my medication, I will start enjoying that as-yet elusive energy burst everyone keeps raving about!

I’ve always heard people talk about weird pregnancy cravings but until recently hadn’t really experienced them for myself. When my mother was pregnant with my sister, all she wanted to eat was 2 bacon sandwiches every morning and watermelon. Watermelon all the time. The only problem was she was pregnant in the winter. I can just imagine my poor dad trying to track down watermelon in December. Luckily, the things that I’ve been craving have been more readily available. All I’ve wanted to eat for the last week or so has been Flaming Hot Cheetos (which I never had any desire to try until about 3 weeks ago) and chocolate ice cream. And yes, I eat them together. I’ve never actually dipped the Cheetos in the ice cream though. I went on and on about how wonderfully delicious I thought the Flaming Hot Cheetos were to my mom, so she thought she’d buy a bag and see what all the fuss was about. She ended up giving her bag to me and said she thought they were disgusting. For normal pregnant ladies, pregnancy cravings may not be that big of a deal, but when you’re diabetic and crave things like ice cream, they can be a big pain the rear-end. Why can’t I crave things like broccoli and carrots? I’ve read that you crave the things that your baby needs. Maybe my child is going to grow up to work for Ben & Jerry’s in their product development department where they will invent the world’s first jalapeño flavored ice cream.

Something else I’ve started experiencing this week is unwanted belly touching. It just freaks me out. At least this early in the game, anyway. Maybe it’s just my motherly instinct to try and somehow protect my baby. Who knows, but it’s driving me crazy! I’ve even swatted my mom’s hand away from my belly. It just seems like such an invasion of privacy and my personal space. People automatically assume that it’s okay to reach out and touch it. Like my belly is a completely different entity that I have no say over or something. I can understand people wanting to touch my belly when you can start to feel the baby kick from the outside, assuming of course that I specifically ask you if you want to feel it. But for now, the only people touching my belly are me, Tony (technically he is the cause of it, I guess he’s entitled to a feel now and then) and my doctor. Give me another couple of months and we’ll revisit this subject to see if I’ve changed my mind. Until then, HANDS OFF THE BUMP!

Since I’ve never experienced this before, I’m not positive if what I was feeling was actually the baby moving or just gas (although I should be an expert at gas pains by now) but I’m fairly certain that yesterday evening as I was sitting at my desk at work I felt that first little fluttering in my belly. It happened so quickly, I almost didn’t realize it but it felt so foreign and new it almost has to be the baby. I’ve certainly never experienced gas like that before anyway! I have always heard women compare those first flutterings to a butterfly’s wings gently beating against the inside of your stomach, and as far as I could tell, that’s just about right. I probably won’t be able to feel anything on a regular basis for a few more weeks though. But after that, look out! There will be a party in my uterus 24/7!

I’ve been having A LOT of trouble sleeping ever since I found out I was pregnant. I just can’t seem to get comfortable, no matter what position I lie in. And just as Tony was threatening to banish me to the futon, I purchased a body pillow at Wal-Mart. And last night for the first time in weeks, I managed to get a decent night’s sleep. But my dog, Bubby, is not a big fan of my new body pillow. It leaves him even less room in the bed. His space in the bed has been getting increasingly smaller with my expanding mid-section (he likes to sleep curled up by my belly when I lie on my side) and last night, out of sheer frustration, he crawled on top of the body pillow and fell asleep there because I’d left him no room anywhere else. By the time this pregnancy is over with, I have a feeling Tony and Bubby are going to be sleeping together on the futon while I take up the entire bed between my assortment of pillows and my belly!

I know in my last blog I swore that I would not post any belly pics under any circumstances but that was before I realized how absolutely WONDERFUL maternity clothes can be. In normal non-maternity clothes, I just look like a gal who needs to stop eating so much. But in maternity clothes, you can actually tell that I’m pregnant now because the clothes actually fit! It’s been so liberating for me to be able to wear form fitting clothing for the first time in my life and not feel like I’m about to pass out because I’m holding my stomach in. It’s so wonderful to be able to embrace my new shape and not be self-conscious about how I look. On the contrary, I feel more confident than I ever have before. Swimsuit season, here I come (they make some adorable maternity suits)! Although I’ll spare everyone the visual torture and keep those pictures to myself!

Finally the 2nd trimester has arrived! Hopefully the debilitating fatigue will disappear as quickly as the 1st trimester did. I think I may actually be able to feel those first precious 2nd trimester energy bursts: as evidenced by my (finally!) clean house. I am no longer ashamed to have my mother come to visit me.

My appetite is picking up, which is very bad news for my diabetic diet restrictions. Now instead of eating one chicken sandwich on whole grain low carb bread, I’d much rather eat two. I’d kill someone for an entire bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos with a side of Oreo cookies. But I have to keep telling myself that it’s for the safety of the baby that I stay away from things like that, even when I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because I’ve just had a dream about an ice cream sundae.

Which brings up another strange pregnancy side effect: crazy dreams. Last night I had a dream that Tony and I were…. ummm…. how do put this?....getting romantic and I kept getting irritated because he had his face painted like the lead singer from Kiss and his make-up kept rubbing off on me every time he would kiss me. And then I had a dream that we were at some sort of craft fair and this man was there performing marriage ceremonies. Apparently Tony and I weren’t married yet but in my dream I knew I was pregnant (that probably occurred in the Gene Simmons make-up dream) and I kept trying to get Tony to marry me but he wouldn’t do it! I’ve always been one to have some pretty off-the-wall dreams, but nothing holds a candle to pregnant dreams!

I took my first official belly photo yesterday, and although I won’t be posting it anywhere anytime soon (don’t even look for it!) it’s interesting to see how my body is changing. I can’t wait until people can glance at me and immediately tell I’m pregnant and not just look at me and assume I went a little overboard at the buffet. I’ve always been thankful that I get to wear scrubs to work and I’m even more thankful now for their forgiving silhouettes, but I’m quickly outgrowing the clothes that I can wear outside of work. Even my stretchy capri pants have almost hit their stretch capacity so I’ve decided that this weekend I will buy my first batch of maternity clothes. There is a consignment sale in Rogers this weekend so hopefully I can find something cheap and cute that will fit my ever-burgeoning belly.